Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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