3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The feeling are messing with the penis
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize