i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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