similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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