I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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