Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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