after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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