Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
