god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
