I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
