You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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