3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
