If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize