he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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