let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
what is it with giant penises always finding me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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