does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
