all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He felt like a one man threesome
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize