My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
