your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm sobbing to NWA
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
