I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
