What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Holy shit dude........stairs
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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