I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
