Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
