Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
