Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
