I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
