thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I faked an abortion last night.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She announced her abortion via fbk
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
