So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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