O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
