dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
