Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
