do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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