Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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