the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
