we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
