Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
