Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
