I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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