hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he was CRYING into my vagina
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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