I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
