then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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