It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
