Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
