That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
