I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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