you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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