It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
