I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
