I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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