May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i love accidental penises.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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