My sheets look like a crime scene.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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