She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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