I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
