I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
