She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
