hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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