If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
