Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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