So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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