I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
