Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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