what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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