my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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