turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
