We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
